I Hope You Don't Think I'm Crazy, But I Do...

One of my favorite things about racing and training for Ironman distance races is that I can finish my race descritpion with

and then I run a marathon

It is at this point that many people give me that, you are insane look.  They can understand swimming for 2.4 miles, think a bike ride over 100 miles is crazy but to then run?

It is at this point that most triathletes start the delicate dance of trying to appear sane and yet not make our feat look too easy.

If someone starts to google local psychiatrists or addiction couselors I typically start sharing these points:

• Over 3000 other people are doing this race
• 80 year old nuns can do it.
• A bunch of biggest looser contestants have done it
• It is all about pacing and just a long day of exercise

No, if they swing too far and start relating to me by comparing it to there last 5K walk/run, I start trying to amp things up a bit more:

• Describe in detail the mass swim start using the "swim over" as many times as possible
• Talk about bloody nipples
•  Lead them to believe I need to train about 18 - 56 hours per week
• Talk about how winners pee themselves

So in the end, I don't want them to think I'm crazy, well maybe crazy but impressive crazy.

How do you keep things in balance?

Why I want to be a pro

http://www.foodnetwork.com/I've written before about how I like free stuff.  That hasn't changed.  However, I now have a bigger reason for wanting to be a pro.

I want to take naps and talk about food.

I use twitter to spy on certain people and have noticed that certain famous Kona winning triathletes (@chrissiesmiles, @maccanow, @mirindacarfrae) seem to either be taking naps or talking about food most of the time.

I also did some research by watching "A Training Day with Michellie Jones" which is great and shows her swim, bike and run and even riding a horse but for some reason doesn't seem to show her biggest brick which is a napping.  She also does talk about food with a very nice Vegemite plug.

Meanwhile, I don't get naps or much sleep and people don't listen when I talk about food.

So, now that I have finally zeroed in on what pro's most endorse, I think I would be a great spokesperson for the following companies.

The Food Network
Nutella
Serta
Any maker of fuzzy blankets
Big comfortable chairs
Boring books

Until then...

No projections

I don't share much in common with Punxsutawney Phil.  You know, the ground forecaster of spring.  In face, I have a fear of making projections.

This does occasionally get in the way at work, mostly when people need a projection of how much something will cost and I have no idea.  In those cases I usually hedge.

My triathlete friend Jaysun (yes spelled correctly) casually asked me this past week what my estimate for Vineman swim was.  Rather than answer his question, I decided that we should do math together.  Okay, I swim at 1:40 pace per 100 yards at the pool during long efforts, so how many yards is 2.4 miles.  Okay, now we both have our phones out and are doing math.

Okay, but that is without a wetsuit and I'm going straight.  How much faster will I be with a wetsuit and drafting a really fast whale?  But how much more will I swim using my typical swim tour style of navigation?

So in the end, we agreed that I could possibly swim between 1 hour and 1.5 hours.  Notice, we did math and I didn't answer the question.

I'm just hoping he doesn't ask about the run or bike.  I do like doing math but sooner or later he will catch on that I have a fear of committing to a number.

Perfect Power Food in three letters

PHO

I drive past about one PHO per mile on my commute.  I don't remember ever stopping on my way home, even thought I have been tempted.  I just know that I can't hid a meal of PHO from my wife.  I'm just not that good of slurper.

We also don't go out for PHO too much because I see it as a potential tipping point for my kids, literally.  I can see hot steaming bowls of noodlely beefy goodness being tipped over and not only being wasted but scalding all four of us in the process.

My wife and I were able to go on a quick dinner date last night.  We went for PHO.  It was amazing.

Now to make it triathlon related....

I believe PHO is a power/recovery/make you powerful food.

It has carbs, protein, a bunch of salt, and looks like an acronym.  What more could you want from a power food.

Sure, you can't easily put it in a bottle or bento box but pre/post race...perfect.

Fast fish in a slow pond

I was surprised this morning at the pool because I was treated reverently.  It wasn't that people were bowing or calling my by any worthy title.  I just got a weird sense of respect and maybe a bit of awe.  I noticed because something in my sleep deprived mind was telling me that things were wrong.

"Warning, warning, things are not normal!"

I couldn't figure out why a simple, "good morning" and discussion about how to share a lane gave me the impression of royalty but it was distinct.

I started swimming and soon came to the conclusion.  I am relatively fast, compared to my new subjects(s).  I was swimming between 1:30 and 1:40 per 100 yards.  My main set was a mind numbing 2500 yards today and I dutifully swam every yard and did my magical flip turns every lap.

For a minute I thought I was losing my kingdom because this guys was matching my pace.  I started to panic and thought about picking up my pace but by this time I was at 950 yards and still had 1550 left to go and I didn't want my subjects to seem me broken.  I just kept my pace and pondered my short lived reign.  Then I noticed he was wearing paddles and with those was barely holding my pace.  Suddenly I was king again and I felt strong and powerful.  

I think thats all it takes to be swim royalty during my swim time at my gym.

I love being a fast fish in a slow pond.

Am I really like that crazy running buffalo?

My family was able to travel with me last weekend to Southern Oregon.  Trip was great except it totally messed up my training.  Pool heater was broken (way too cold) and morning meetings and late nights kept me from running. 

Pity party over and back on track…

On the way home we stopped by the world famous Wildlife Safari in Winston Oregon.  I didn’t expect much more than a glorified muddy farm but paid the entrance fee (1/2 price with certain zoo memberships) and drove in.  The girls were excited because they were allowed out of their car seats.  I could probably just drive in a “safe” parking lot for several hours with them out of their seats and they would be happy.

Cheap party over and back on track…

It was awesome.  Giraffes stood next to our car.  Zebras, Gnu(s), Elk, and all sorts of dear/gazelle like animals were close and awesome.  I nearly lost my mind when the Llamas blocked the road but soon recovered and made it to the buffalo section.  We were patiently following this huge buffalo walk up the road and I kept wondering why all my animal pictures are of the rear end of animals.  I have great pictures of moose heading into the forest and bears butts.

View for nearly 10 minutes

Butt party over and back on track…

 There was this young calf like buffalo that was amazing.  All the others were sauntering (rears facing me) and this little guy was running circles around them.  He would run ahead and then crash through the mud and circle around and back ahead.  He would jump a bit, kick and seemed to be having fun. 

Actual creature when standing still

I girls almost in unison said, “baby buffalo is exercising like baba” (that’s me).  For some reason I felt really proud.  Maybe I look crazy when I exercise but I’d like to think I look like I’m having the time of my life. 

What are they seeing when they see me exercies?  Are they watching joy like that crazy baby buffalo? 

Three things every triathlete has to include ina training conversation

A truly talkable workout needs must include at least one but preferably all three of the following items.
1.  Crazy time of day
2.  Horrible weather
3.  Reference to speed and distance
Bonus - throw in lingo that other people would be embarrassed to use.

For example, no true triathlete could ever say "I went running today".  That is neither interesting or epic.  At minimum,
Okay- "Great run today.  I really get the trail to myself during blizzards."
Better - "Great 20K run today.  It was so easy to hold at 6:13 pace because no one else was out due to the blizzard"
Best - "Great 20K run today.  I tried not to wake the neighbors when I started my run at 4:17 AM.  It was easy to hold my 6:13 pace warm-up and the blizzard really didn't interfere with the Fartlek workout.

For some reason a workout just doesn't feel right if it is too easy.  On days that we are running at 10 AM in the sun and only running for 20 minutes it feels like we are wusses.  If someone asks about that run or for some reason you want to admit that you ran an easy run, I would suggest you add the following options.

1.  Hills even better - sand dunes
2.  Some sort of incident with a rude person.

For example, "It would have been a great run today but there were these total noobs that we just walking, holding hands of all things with their headphones on, and as I was climbing the sand dune, I called out 'on your left' and they just kept walking until I was right behind them and then they yelled at me for not warning them"

Wait until I tell you about the 5 keys to describing your last race.

Most important 30 seconds for my training

I'm learning a certain 30 seconds of my day are one of the most crucial seconds for my training.  I am working on a name for this time period and would have it solved except I can't come up with a name with a cool sounding acroynm.  I really want it to have the letters S and T and Q. 

Those thirty seconds translate into a difference between 2500 yards of valuable swiming and no swiming.  This 1/2 minute of time is the difference between 1.5 hours on the bike and a big zero.

Okay...I'm sure you are just begging for the answer. 

Those thirty seconds are the first thirty after my alarm goes off.  It only takes me about 5 seconds to realize that it isn't a dream.  It takes another 5 seconds to find the chiming phone and turn it off.  Then I have about 10 seconds to decide whether there was some mistake with the alarm going off (is today my rest day?).  That leaves me with 10 seconds to either get out of bed or not.  If I get out of bed, then training happens.  If not, well I do get another 1.5 hours of guilty lazy regretful sleep. 

I don't remember ever feelin guilt, regret, and lazy if I get out of bed during the magical SQT timeframe.

Which is more tedious?

I went fly fishing for steelhead yesterday.  Notice, I didn't say fly catching because I don't seem to catch steelhead.  After about my zillionth cast to water which just mocked me, I finally caught a rock.  Then I caught a tree, then another rock.

I was cold, hungry, and honestly a little bored.  I still had the "air of anticipating" and chirped "hear fishy, fishy, fishy" and made the occasional clucking sound that works well for cats, horses, and children.

I started to feel like I was on my trainer.  Except with the trainer there's no hope.

I think the trainer is pretty much the most tedious invention - ever.  It's worse than the treadmill because I could possiblly get launched on a treadmill.  It's worse than lap swimming because lap swiming actually involves forward motion.
It's definitely more tedious than reading "Wacky Wednesday" which I have read to oblivion because my daughters seem to explode in joy when they find eight wacky things.

I guess there's many tedious things in my life and for some reason, I benefit from all of them.

Should I teach the "farmer spray" way to blow the nose? When?

I confess, I farmer spray all the time while running and biking.  For those that may not know what I'm talking about, I plug one nostril and then blow my nose as hard as I can so I spray snot without it hitting me on the arm, shoulder, back, or on the bike.  Repeat with other nostril.

I don't know when or how I learned this but I am really grateful because it's the perfect answer during exercise for nasal drip (or flow in my case).  As a courtesy, I check behind me and beside me to make sure I don't spray on any people, precious property or pets.

I forget how repulsive this may be for people driving by or in my case, sitting in the restaurant and coffee shops.  I try to wait for the politest descrete place but wonder if seeing a runner with snot running down his face may also spoil the appetitie.

I took a poll in my office and all the female runners thought I was disgusting for spraying rather than using a tissue.  My wife is a runner and she accepts the farmer spray as a perfectly acceptable way to deal with a runny nose.

Now the big question, I think my daughters should learn how to do this.  However, I don't know when or how to teach them.  I'm afraid that at 2 and 3 years old, they would start doing it in our house because it is so convenient.  I also don't want to be the only parent at the play ground who's kids are doing this.  I want them to have the judgment to do this socially unacceptable behavior only at certain times.

Finally, is there a way to teach this that doesn't cover their clothes in snot?  Should I work from standing spray to walking, and eventually to a run.  What skills should they have on the trike before learning?

I need help with this important matter.  Thanks in advance.

Scam or opportunity

I've been on the internet researching an offer to sell a time share the non-profit I work owns.  It turns out that the offer is a scam.  Should have known from the start but getting the wire transfer directions sealed the deal for me.  No way I'm wiring $3,380 (USD) to pay a tax that doesn't exist.  Wish I had my time and trust back.

Kind of strange to be in a world in which non-profits are scammed.  You'd think certain groups would be spared based on the good they do.

I feel bad for fat people, there are so many people trying to scam them.  I think I would be pretty paranoid if I was constantly bombarded with so many fantastic "offers".

Good thing we triathletes aren't scammed.  Everyone knows that the middle of the pack athlete needs those race wheels, carbon water bottles, a pro-level wetsuit and trace minerals.  We could move from middle of pack to front of pack if we only...

Maybe I shouldn't write when I'm cynical.  I do think it's great to be as fast as we can be.  Training is hard work and we don't want our equipment or body to let us down and so I am willing to bite.  However, I don't want to be scammed into either wasting my money, time or body. 

So how do I tell the difference?

Is it brainwashing? Should I feel shame?

My daughters (ages 2 & 3) have a race coming up in June.  It is the kids Splash, Pedal and Dash at Pacific Crest Weekend Sports Festival (www.racecenter.com/pacificcrest) 

Photo courtesy of PCWSF

They didn't chose to race.  I think I kind of just told them they were racing.  In my most excited voice possible I described how they could slide down a slide into the water, then wade through a bunch of pools, then ride their bike (one wants to ride really fast) and then run and run and run until they get to raise their hands over their head and cross a line and shout "I did it".

Some other parents brainwashed her!

They are so excited, they now tell everyone that will listen about the race.  They really have the core message down -  slide, wade, bike, run, "I did it".  They also know they will get a necklace like I get.

Is my excitement and "pressing" this event brainwashing?  Is this okay or should I feel shame for wanting my girls to enjoy this sort of thing?

I guess it really is too late to change the course so I might as see if I can find carbon dimpled race wheels for their bikes.  Do you think it's too early to start looking for sponsors?  I think they really have a chance for AG podiums.

Not my kids

Parent Triathlete: Recommended? Possible? Reasonable?

I've recently read quite a few posts on forums like Beginner Triathlete (http://www.beginnertriathlete.com/) about whether Parents (specifically those with young children) should be be triathletes.  I won't bore you with a bunch of reasons other than yes, it is possible, and I recommend it.

Now the hard part - what are reasonable expectations for parent triathletes?

First, I don't think we are necessarily a reasonable bunch of people.  Okay, I don't think I'm that reasonable when it comes to triathlon.

1.  I have a really expensive third bike (Felt B2) that is really light and fast and amazing.  At some point, I thought it was reasonable for me to own a bike like this even though I'm not light, fast, or amazing.
2.  I now have a Aero Helmet - My wife told my girls it looks like a rain drop.  I was ready to describe it as a sperm hat but then my wife gave me "that look".  It would not be reasonable to try to explain sperm to a 2 and 3 year old.
3.  I think that if I trained 2 more hours per week, I could Kona Qualify.  Nothing in my racing history would support this and I have never completed an IM but this doesn't stop me from making plans during my long bikes and runs.
4.  I would like to be sponsored so I could get a custom jersey and free stuff.  I think it is entirely reasonable that a company would want to invest in me.

So now that I've proven that I am not totally reasonable.  I do think that there are some reasonable expectations that a parent triathlete can have.

1.  People will think you are crazy.
2.  You will have to give up some family time and some training time.
3.  Your race results could have been better if you had somehow been able to be a part of the Brotherhood of Saint Triathlon which devoted their lives without distraction to triathlon.
4.  You will feel utter delight the first time you hear your kid tell another person about how they are going to race their next "kids spash and dash" triathlon.
5.  People will think you are crazy.

What do you think are reasonable expectations for a parent triathlete?

Training turned to fun

I've been in Ashville NC area traveling for work for the past week.  It was the typical long days and late nights of meetings but I was able to sneak away for two runs.  It was freezing on the first day and my motivation and energy were low.  Add to that, I didn't know where to go and all options pointed up.

I finally got out and started up - hoping to find some trails and enjoy the mountains.  Up is hard work and my legs and lungs were hating it.  However, as I climbed I started to be flooded with memories from when I was a kid hiking with my family.  I grew up in Japan and our trails were pretty much dirt with occasional huge rocks.  My older brothers and I would run like crazy pretending to be on motorcycles and launching off the rocks. We called it "Jumping Motocycles". 

Well, I was climbing so I only grunted as I tried to get up the rocks but those thoughts really helped get me up the hill.  On the way down, the fun started and I started to play again.  I gingerly launched (more like a slight hop) off a rock and then I couldn't stop myself.  I didn't make motorcycle noises but I wish I had. 

I ran for an hour and had a great time.  Yesterday I ran for another 1:40 and it felt like a short jog.  I had a great time.  I wonder why running and biking don't feel the same at home?  I wish they did.

Red, no peddals, no seat

I love my new bike, not that I have ridden it yet, but I love it, and maybe not even in a normal healthy way.  It's been invading my dreams.  There are a ton of things that I like about it, however my girls can't stop talking about three things.

Red, no pedals, and no seat.  It just cracks them up and they don't understand why Baba (what they call me) has a bike like that.  My father in law also can't stop talking about how much I spent on a bike without pedals.  Whatever I tell him about the logic of no pedals, he just doesn't get it.  My daughters just think I'm superman an can ride a bike without pedals but he thinks I'm an idiot to spend so much and not be able to ride the bike.

Both problems will be corrected as soon as I do the fitting.  I wonder what will require super powers next? Also, what I can do so he isn't as worried for his daughter's future?

Somthings make you faster than others

It has been a tough couple of weeks with some health concerns for my wife and girls.  Things ended up being fine and everyone is very healthy.  Trying not to write a sappy post so I'll move on.

It's amazing how much energy is drained by worry and also how much energy is added from being thankful.

I just bought a new bike (new to me).  It is a 2010 Felt B2 and came with stock and carbon race wheels.  This bike makes me want to be fast because it deserves to go fast.

Bike fitting in a few weeks and then I start training on this monster.  Having my family supportive of this crazy hobby and race schedule not only gives me focus but is helping me get out and do the work in the cold so that this summer when I'm racing, I will be able to show I valued the time and money spent on this sport.

Modified brick workout

I ate less than my little girls yesterday for lunch because I had big plans for their nap time.  I've been wanting to get a brick workout with at least 1 hour on the bike and about 45 of running.  I'd been planning the workout since Friday.

Here was the plan, ride the trainer so that I could be "available" if the girls happen to need me during their nap.  I placed the baby monitor in a place where I could see it and then I started to ride, knowing that they would sleep well past the time their mom was to be home so I could go run.

After about 20 minutes on the bike I was soaked and really feeling good, and then I saw the first sign of trouble.  The lights started to slowly pulse on the baby monitor.  I quit pedaling and heard the shrieks.  She was awake -- way too early and in desparate need for attention.

I ran a very quick transition (similar to T2) out of my bike shoes and upstairs to try to work my magic and get her to sleep.  I wasn't successful.  We ended up coming downstairs and sat on the floor and cuddled and read.  I couldn't sit on a chair because my wife would kill me if I sat on furniture with sweat drenched clothes.

It was fantastic to spend time with the little one and it was a highlight of my day.  My wife came home, I got back on the bike and rode to 45 minutes of trainer time, then I ran a 4.75 mile loop in 33 minutes.

I came home and both girls were up and ready to snuggle and read more.  Life didn't go as planned, I guess extra transitions, made quickly and with an open attitude, really is what training for an ironman and being a committed parent is all about.

FYI - I'm now registered for the Full Vineman on July 30 and Boise 70.3 on June 12.