Monday, July 18, 2011


Alert - triathlon is full of smug people. 

I'm discovering certain people get great deal satisfaction from passing expensive carbon bikes with race wheels.  I get passed and I occasionally make passes during a race.  I hope to pass those in my age group and try to not look when I get passed.  However, I am used to it and typically give a "Great ride" which is my way of saying, "you are having a superhuman ride to be able to pass me." 

So as a person that wants to gain even more satisfaction from triathlon, and "suck the marrow" from the experience, I'm looking into the benefits of focusing on how I am better than strangers.  Here is my plan for smug thinking during my next race.

1.  When swimming - I will minimize my training and exaggerate how much everyone swims.  I'll smile as I reflect that my wetsuit was purchased used on Craigs list and lacks the modern  features on the suits used cheaters who train too much.
2.  When biking, I will focus on my lack of a power meter, expensive pedals, not having dimples on my carbon wheel and my cheap sunglasses.  I'm kind of frustrated that all my other bike equipment is unbelievably awesome.  I'm considering assuming that all the other people ride 500 miles a week because they don't love their families as much as I love mine and they don't have a real job.  I also will assume they are the few that take PED's.
3.  When running, I will assume they all raced on college scholarships and have never been injured.  I'd feel best if they either wear Newtons and are sponsored.  I'll also assume they have been coached and that their mom packed their race nutrition.  Once again, I love my family more and have sacrificed at a greater level for the good of all mankind.

I kind of feel smug already and I'm only planning my thinking errors.  If I can learn to do this sort of thing faster and verbally, I could maybe have a career on talk radio...

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