The Danger of Teaching Them to Read and Write

My 5 year old is reading and writing.  Two things about that scare me.  First, she is spelling words the same way I do.  This is great for my ego since she is proving that words should be spell foneticaly.  This is bad for my ego since I am discovering that I spell like a 5 year old and it is cute for her but not so much for me.

Second, she is writing things that potentially make me look bad.

Yesterday's paper had a bunch of words but the first was "DAM" and the second was "CAT"

Now, as a person that has owned a cat, I could easily see that that phrase could be common enough for the kids to want to write it down.  But we don't own a cat and I try not to swear.  I now am wondering what my wife says when I'm not around.  I think her teachers assume we have a cat and that I need to watch my mouth.

My other fear is that my daughter starts to tell people about my races.  That she somehow mis-respresents things. 

So, just to make things clear.

1.  I don't swim a zig zag and bump into people.
2.  I don't try to take the wrong bike out of transition.
3.  I didn't leave my helmet on going into the run.
4.  I didn't walk the whole race.
5.  I didn't cry like a baby at the finish line.

Well, I hope that clears things up.  Let me know if you have any suggestions or ideas to protect my reputation.